Dulce de Leche (Caramel Sauce)

In Mexico, South America, and other areas of the globe a wicked wonderful milk caramel sauce, Dulce de Leche, has long been made by home cooks.  They boil an unopened can of sweetened condensed milk in water for a few hours, allow it to cool, and then open the can.  Manufacturers of sweetened condensed milk advise that you must never do this, because the can might burst open and spew boiling hot caramel all over someone.  So don't do this.  Ever.  You should also never put an unopened can or cans of sweetened condensed milk in the crock, cover with water, put on the lid, and cook on low for  8-10 hours, while you sleep, shop, or work. Never do this.  Ever. It can be dangerous if hot sticky caramel explodes all over you when you get home.

Even if the can or cans don't explode, just think how really bad it would be to dip apple slices into the caramel and eat half the caramel.  It would be terrible.  Clearly something you should never do if you value your health, your waistline, or the health of your family.  Trust me on this.  You might even think eating Fat Burning Soup for a week before eating caramel sauce on apples will make it okay.  It won't. So don't ever do this.

I know some of you are thinking it would be super cool to make homemade new labels on your computer and give cans of Dulce de Leche to family and friends for the holidays. Don't do it.  Also, don't get the cheap non Eaglebrand sweetened condensed milk that is on sale for half the price, like the stuff at Winco for $.98 a can.  Don't.   

Winner, Loser or Meh

I didn't do this, so I can't really speak from experience, but if I had done this, I would say it would probably be one of the most delicious, easy and wonderful things ever put into my mouth or the mouths of those I love.

I also didn't make delicious Bannofee Pie.   I did not take a graham cracker crust, put 2 cut up bananas inside it, and  pour 2 cans of caramel sauce over the bananas, allow the pie to cool in the fridge, and then top with whipped cream.  That never happened.

I also have no plans to buy a chocolate cookie crust and put a cup or more of crushed chocolate toffee bits into it and pour a can or so of this stuff over it and cover it with whipped cream.  Even if I have PMS, I will never do anything like that. 

Recipe

Don't put any single can or cans that fit in whatever size slow cooker you have that has a low setting.

Ingredients

• Can or cans of unopened sweetened condensed milk with the labels removed.

Don't put any can or cans of unopened sweetened condensed milk with the labels removed into your crock pot. Don't cover those cans with water, put the lid on, and then cook them on low for 8-10 hours.  Don't  do it for 8 hours to get a thinner sauce or 10 hours to get a thicker sauce.  Don't allow the cans to sit in the water for 10 minutes after cooking, with the power off.  Don't remove those cans very carefully from the water with a jar lifter and place the cans on a towel on your kitchen counter.  Don't let those cans sit there for one hour (at least) before opening them and using the stuff inside.  Don't.